G+B Chapter 15: Out With the Old

I was sitting on the floor just inside the open front door, sketching in my notebook when Graham came up behind me. 

“Why are you on the floor? And why is the door open?”

I scowled at him over my shoulder. “I’m drawing, but it’s too cold to go outside.” I groaned. “I thought the weather was supposed to be getting warmer now that spring is almost here.”

Graham pursed his lips, biting back a smile. “Yeah, makes total sense,” he said, nodding. “Although, you could’ve just sat at the table. You can see outside from there.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “It’s not the same. The perspective would be way off.”

He chuckled. “If you say so.”

“Yeah, actually. The apartment needs to be cleared out before we can sell it. Was going to head over there today. You want to join me?”

I closed my notebook quickly and scrambled to my feet. “Yes!”

Graham’s brows rose. 

“Sorry,” I said, brushing my hands down my leggings. “I just really need to get out of the house for a little bit.”

Winter seemed reluctant to release its grip, and for the last three days, Graham and I had been holed up in the cottage with nowhere to go. Not that being trapped inside with Graham was exactly a hardship. We’d found plenty of ways to occupy ourselves, but my sore muscles were loudly protesting against any more of our… indoor recreational activities.

“All good.” He chuckled. “Do you need a minute to change or—” 

“Nope,” I said. “I’m ready to go.”

Graham smiled and shook his head. “Alright then, let’s get outta here.”

“Thank God,” I muttered under my breath. 

We were about halfway to the apartment when Graham turned the music down and glanced over at me. “You okay to be doing this?” 

“Yeah,” I said. “It’ll be good for me, I think.”

“If it’s too much, tell me and we’re outta there.”

“I will. Thanks.”

I hadn’t given much thought to what it might feel like to be back. I hadn’t seen the place since Graham had come for me, but as we pulled into the apartment complex, my stomach twisted itself into a knot. 

“No. No, I’m good. I want to.” 

He nodded once before stepping out of the truck and coming around to open my door. He helped me down, then went to get his toolbox from the truck bed.

Graham came back to me and threaded his fingers through mine. Together, we crossed the parking lot to my building. 

Something prickled at the back of my neck. I slowed my steps. 

“Bambi?” Graham asked.

I glanced around the parking lot. 

“Yeah? Sorry. I just got a weird feeling. It’s probably just from being back.”

“Remember what I said. We can leave anytime.”

“I know. I’m good.” I gave him a small smile, hoping it looked more convincing than it felt.

“Are you sure? You’ve said you’re good like three times now and I’m starting to think you aren’t actually good.”

“I promise.”

Graham held the door to the stairwell open for me. 

“No way would I trust that giant death trap even if they did fix it,” I said as I stepped past him.

“Come on. It wasn’t that bad,” he teased, opening the door into the hall. 

I glared at him as I moved past him. “Easy for you to say. Your workout routine probably consists of bench-pressing entire pine trees and curling boulders.”

“Nah,” he said as the stairwell door closed behind him. “I’ve moved on to whole oaks now.”

“You’re still not funny.”

I laughed. “Okay, down boy.”

Graham laughed and released me, falling into step beside me as we continued down the hall.

He slid it into the lock and turned it. His hand closed over the knob, but he didn’t open the door just yet. He looked over at me first. “Ready?”

The hinges creaked loudly as Graham pushed the door open, the sound echoing through the hall.

He flicked on the switch by the door, and the apartment lit up. 

“Didn’t want to be working in the dark,” he said. “Besides, the place is… kind of mine now, so, yeah.” 

He shrugged. “I don’t. And she didn’t have a choice. The place was well into foreclosure by the time I got her into rehab. I worked something out with the lender and bought the thing myself.”

“Not in the least. But it’s her own damn fault, and I don’t give a shit how she feels about it.”

I realized I’d never once asked him what he did.

“Cat design? What the hell is cat design?” 

Graham laughed. “CAD, Bambi. With a D. Not cat.”

I just stared up at him.

“I create digital blueprints.”

“Oh. Cool. I think.”

“It’s really not, but I like it well enough.”

I followed him into the living room, stopped in the middle of it, and turned in a circle. “I have no idea.”

“Yeah. Works for me.”

“Living room first?”

“Sure.”

Graham set his toolbox on the coffee table in the center of the room, then went to the windows and began pulling down the cardboard covering them.

How did I live like this for so long?

“Sounds good.”

I took another look around the living room. There were no family photos or childhood artwork hanging on the walls. The small bookshelf tucked in the corner held only a handful of books, none of them worth keeping. 

“Toss it all,” I said.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Books could probably be donated,” he suggested, pulling the books off the shelf and stacking them on the coffee table. 

“Sure. There’s a public library not far from here,” I said, moving into the kitchen. “Maybe they’ll take them.”

I opened one of the cabinets above the stove and began removing the dishes and stacking them on the island.

Graham joined me a moment later, his eyes scanning the stack. A deep furrow formed between his brows. He crouched and opened the cabinets beneath the counter.

“There’s less stuff here than I remember,” he said. “What happened to the china?”

“If it could be pawned, it was.”

“They were gifts for their wedding, for Christ’s sake.”

Anything that had monetary value didn’t last long here. No matter how big or small or sentimental. To Caroline, it was all just dollar signs. Nothing more. 

Graham removed the few pots and pans and a dented slow cooker and set them on the island beside the sad stack of dishes. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head. “Unbelievable,” he muttered.

“Welcome home,” I said dryly.

 “I’m assuming there’s nothing here you want to keep,” Graham said. 

“Nope. You?”

“Nah. Should we move on then?”

“Bedrooms?”

“Yeah. You go ahead. I’m gonna move this stuff into the living room.”

“Okey dokey,” I said, heading toward the hallway.

I stared at the door, unable to do anything else.

I’d stood outside his door countless times, tempted to turn the knob and step inside, but part of me had always been too afraid to try. Back then I’d convinced myself that if the door stayed closed, I could pretend he was inside. Doing homework. Drawing. Reading. Opening the door would have shattered the illusion and proved that he was gone for real and wasn’t coming back. 

“Go on. You can open it.”

Graham’s voice startled me. I turned to find him standing beside me. I hadn’t even heard him come down the hall.

I wrapped my fingers around the knob, turning it halfway before stopping. I looked up at him again. 

“It’s alright, Bambi. Go ahead.”

I turned the knob the rest of the way, pushed the door open, and stepped inside. 

It was like a perfectly preserved time capsule.

I turned, realizing that Graham was still standing in the doorway, the toes of his boots lined up with the threshold. His hands were tucked into his pockets, his gaze fixed solely on me. 

“You’re not coming in?” I asked.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“You aren’t the least bit curious about what you left behind?”

“Bambi, the only thing in that room right now that I care about is you.”

I started to leave, but something caught the corner of my eye.

A brown furry paw peeked out from under a T-shirt on his dresser. I pulled the shirt off and tossed it aside. It was my old teddy bear. 

“Bambi!” Graham hollered down the hall. “Come get your stupid bear out of my room!” 

I yanked my bedroom door open and stuck my head out into the hall. “No! I don’t want him anymore!”

“Well, I don’t want him either!”

“I’m too old for stuffed animals, Graham. Just throw him away!”

Graham groaned. “He’s your bear. You throw him away.”

“You do it!” I slammed my door shut and climbed back onto my bed and continued reading. 

Graham’s door slammed shut next, the vibration rattling the walls. 

“I thought you threw him away,” I said, picking him up off the dresser. 

“Couldn’t, I guess.”

Graham reached out and tugged at the bear’s arm. “It’s not too late. I can add him to the pile.”

“Hey!” I swatted his hand away. “God, what are we, fifteen?” 

Graham laughed. “Come on. Bear can come live with us. I think he’ll like the cottage.”

After setting Bear on the kitchen counter—the only thing currently in the “keep” pile—we moved on to my room.

“It’s just, I don’t know. It feels… weird. I feel exposed.” I covered my face with my hands. 

“I lived on the street for four months, Bambi. Slept in worse conditions than this.”

He turned me toward him, pulled my hands away, and tilted my chin up. “You don’t have to hide this from me. None of this changes how I see you or how I feel about you, Bambi.” 

The backs of my knees hit my bed, and the frame creaked as Graham lowered me to the mattress. 

“Stay with me, Bambi,” Graham said, leaning in to kiss me again. His tongue swept inside my mouth as he nudged my knees apart with his and stepped between my legs. 

 “Fuck,” Graham groaned. “I’ll never get over how tight you are, Bambi.” 

“I’m right here, baby,” he said. “Be here with me.”

I ran my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, and a low, satisfied sound rumbled from his chest.

Graham lifted his head. “No? Why not?”

 “I was not domineering. Commanding, maybe.”

“Fine, fine.” I chuckled. “So very commanding.” 

Graham shifted his weight off me and lay beside me, propping his head up on his hand and draping his other arm across my waist. “Did it upset you?” he asked. “Thinking you might not come back?”

“And what about this one?” 

I turned on my side to face him. “I’d rank it in the top three,” I teased. 

“Oof. Only top three? Tough crowd.”

I giggled. “It’s definitely one of the better memories.”

Graham’s gaze wandered around my room, and a slow smile spread across his lips. 

“The last time I was in here was the night you kissed me for the first time.”

“Hey, you kissed me.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Did you regret it?” I asked. 

“Did you?” His eyes slid to mine, a hint of uncertainty creeping into his expression.

“No, never.”

“Did you hate me?” 

“For leaving?”

“Yeah.”

I drew in a deep breath. “Kind of? At least, I tried to hate you. For a long time, I think I convinced myself I did, but really, I was more pissed than anything.”

“That’s fair. I was pissed at myself too. And I didn’t think I’d ever be back here either.”

“Well, it’s all in the past now, right? I mean, despite everything, we’ve found our way back to each other—even if you did kind of kidnap me—and we’re here together in a place that neither of us thought we’d see again.”

“You kind of did.” I laughed. 

“It’s not kidnapping if you came willingly.”

“Hmm. But did I, though?”

“You definitely did. I was there.”

“I cannot be held accountable for my actions at that time, Graham. I was under duress.”

“Under duress, huh?” A mischievous gleam lit his eyes. 

Uh-oh.

I sat up and scrambled off the bed.

“Oh no you don’t.”

I’d barely made it two steps away from the bed when he was on his feet and standing between me and the door.

“Help me, Bear!” I shouted, grabbing him from the counter and chucking him behind me at Graham.

He caught Bear midair, tossed him aside, and prowled closer. 

I walked backward farther into the living room, keeping the trash pile strategically between us.

“You have nowhere to go, Bambi,” Graham drawled as he circled around the trash pile. “Unless you’re about to run out into the hall in your underwear.”

I mirrored his movement. “I could say the same to you, Mr. Plaid Boxers.”

I glanced behind him. If I could get him just a little farther from the hallway, I could make a break back to my room. 

But Graham knew what I was planning and lunged toward me before I could draw him any farther away.

I squealed and tried to run, but he caught my wrist and pulled me back toward him

“I don’t think so,” he growled. 

He grabbed my other wrist and secured my hands behind my back before bending me over the back of the couch. He kicked my feet apart and stepped up behind me, pressing his hardness against my ass. 

With one hand holding my wrists secure, he yanked my panties down my thighs with the other. He freed his cock from his boxers and thrust into me in one hard push, my moan rebounding off the empty walls.

He leaned over me, his breath hot against my ear. “I think you like being ‘under duress.’ You’re soaked right now, Bambi.”

“I plead the fifth.” I half-laughed, half-moaned as he pushed inside me again.

Graham chuckled. “Eh. There’s no rush. We still have plenty of time today.”

I propped myself up on my forearms. “Oh no. Uh-uh. I’m done. I’m tired and starving.”

As if on cue, my stomach rumbled. 

Graham turned his head toward me. “Pizza?”

“From Dougie’s!” we said at the same time. 

We sat on the living room floor, the box between us, salivating over our triple cheese pizza. 

Graham took a huge bite of his, the cheese stretching ridiculously far, before sliding off the slice and into the box.

Graham looked down at the glob of cheese like it had just personally offended him. “Now that’s just rude.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

I popped one eye open and turned my head to scowl at him. “Yeah, I was hoping to put that off for the foreseeable future.”

“Five minutes,” he said, getting to his feet. He grabbed the empty box and walked it over to the counter. “Meet you in there.”

I continued to lie there, regretting my decision to consume a pound of cheese.

A minute later, Graham returned, fully dressed and carrying my clothes. He held them out to me. 

“Oh. Thanks,” I said, taking them.

“Welcome. Remember, five minutes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered.

He turned and headed back down the hall. 

I had just finished getting dressed when Graham called out.

“Yeah!” I called back.

“You should come see this.”

“Coming!”

When I got to Caroline’s room, Graham was standing by the closet, an old shoebox tucked under one arm and a stack of papers in his hand.

“Here.” He held the papers out to me.

“Petition for divorce,” I read aloud slowly. 

I looked up at him. “What? She tried to divorce my dad?”

There it was, exactly as I remembered it—my dad’s signature—at the bottom of the page.

“You mean the second line? The one conspicuously missing your mother’s signature? Yeah, I noticed.”

“Bambi? You okay?”

I looked up. “Yeah. I just wasn’t expecting this. Why do you think she didn’t sign them?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t even begin to guess what goes on inside that lady’s head,” he said. “The only thing I know that gets Caroline to do anything is money.” 

“Well, it’s not like we had much of that,” I said. “Especially after my dad got sick and stopped working.”

“Maybe she thought there would be some sort of life insurance payout?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I think the better question, though, is why your dad wanted to file in the first place.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said. “So, what do you want to do with these?”

“Throw them away.” I glanced around Caroline’s room again. It was by far the filthiest room in the apartment. Clothes everywhere. Dirty spoons scattered across the floor. Grime coating every surface. 

“As with everything else in here,” I added.

“Ready?” Graham asked when we reached the front door.

“More than ready,” I said.

“Got everything?”

I looked down at Bear and smiled. “Yep.”

How many other people were living like we had been?

The first time I’d arrived here, I’d been so hesitant to get out of the truck, certain that once I did, there would be no going back. Now, as I looked up at the cottage, at the man waiting for me on the porch with my teddy in his arms, I was certain I never wanted to. 

Chapter Sixteen →

G+B Chapter 7: Warmth

I sat shivering on the bathroom counter, a thick flannel blanket wrapped around me, my teeth clacking together as I waited for the shower to warm and for Graham to return. 

“I’m here, I’m here,” he said, rushing back into the bathroom with an armful of clothes. “You okay?”

“Free-zing.”

Graham tossed the clothes onto the counter beside me and reached into the shower to test the water. “Almost there.” 

He came back over to me and rubbed his hands up and down my arms, trying to warm me up. 

“What about y-you?” 

“I’m alright,” he said with a small shake of his head.

“Graham,” I said, brushing my fingers against his lips. “They’re b-blue.”

He gently closed his fingers around my wrist. He didn’t immediately move my hand. He just held it there for a moment, his eyes fixed on mine. 

“Water should be warm enough now,” he said, lowering my hand. 

Graham lifted the edges of the blanket, his fingertips grazing my shoulders as he eased it away. It slipped from my shoulders and pooled around my hips on the counter. 

A shiver worked its way down my spine, even though the room was warm with steam. 

His hands settled at my waist before lifting me from the counter and setting me down. 

I went to take a step back, but my knees buckled. His arm immediately wound around me, catching me before I could fall. 

“I’m s-sorry,” I rushed out. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Bambi.”

He glanced toward the shower, then back at me, a crease forming between his brows. “Do you think you can manage?”

Could I? I felt like a human ice cube. My legs were still numb, my body trembling from the cold, and my blood felt like slush in my veins.  

I was moving before I had a second to process what was happening. Graham stepped into the shower, boots and all, with me still in his arms. 

“Graham!”

I drew in a sharp breath as warm water cascaded over me. 

“I couldn’t stand there any longer watching you freeze and unable to move.”

“Still the one making the decisions,” I said.

He turned us around and walked backward into the stream of water, tilting his head back under the spray. When he looked at me again, there was a seriousness to his expression.

His hold on my waist tightened. “I won’t apologize for doing what I thought was right. Especially when it came to you.”

He turned us again, stepping forward now, until I was fully submerged beneath the water. Goosebumps prickled across my skin as the heat chased the chill from my bones. 

“I admit,” he continued, “I may not have gone about it the right way, but I will always do whatever I have to to make sure you’re safe.”

My breath caught, and I couldn’t tell if it was my own heartbeat pounding or the sound of the water striking the shower walls. His words sounded more like a promise than a statement of fact. They settled deeper than any cold ever could. 

“Don’t joke.” He dropped his forehead to mine and blew out a slow breath. “I’ve never been more scared in my life than I was today, Bambi.”

 “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run off like that.”

“No. But I don’t blame you for running, either. I’ve been—” 

“An ass?”

Graham lifted his head and met my eyes. “‘Difficult’ was the word I was going for. But yeah.”

“Any time. Let’s just not make a habit of it.”

“Oh, trust me. Me and the snow are officially done.”

“Good.” After a short pause, he asked, “How’re you feeling? Is the shower helping?”

“Yeah,” I held up my hands, wriggling my fingers in front of him. “I can finally feel my fingers and toes again.”

“That’s good,” he chuckled softly. “Let’s get you into some dry clothes, then.” 

Graham drew me closer, my shirt squelching against his chest as he reached behind me to shut the water off. He lifted me over the lip of the shower and set me down on the floor, a puddle forming around my feet as water seeped from my clothes.

“Can you stand?” he asked.

“Mhmm, I think so.”

“Okay. Don’t move. I forgot towels.”

“Bambi?” 

“Huh?” I looked up at him. I hadn’t realized he was holding out a towel for me.

“Sorry,” I said, taking the towel and looking down. “Thanks.”

“Yep.”

“I’m going to get the fire going,” he said, grabbing the flannel blanket from the floor. “There are clothes on the counter for you. Let me know if you need help.” 

“Mhmm.”

Once Graham had left the bathroom, I closed my eyes and blew out a breath. “Get a grip, Bambi,” I whispered to myself. I’d just nearly frozen to death. The last thing I should be thinking about was Graham’s body.

Graham was already waiting there. He was sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, the flannel blanket wrapped around him, two cups of coffee beside him.

All I could do was stand there and look at him. Three days ago, I couldn’t have imagined seeing him like this. Cozy. I almost giggled at the sight. 

Graham turned toward me, giving me a small smile as I walked into the living room. He held open the left side of the blanket for me, and I lowered myself down beside him and tucked myself into his side, pulling the blanket tight around me. 

The fire crackled steadily in the hearth, the heat wrapping around us like a second blanket. 

Graham was quiet beside me, his eyes fixed on the flames, the firelight catching in the green of his eyes. 

“What are you thinking about over there?” I asked softly, nudging him with my shoulder.

He looked down at me, the corner of his mouth curving upward. “You.”

“Me?”

His eyes held mine and warmth spread through my face and neck. 

“You,” he said again. “I’m just… glad you’re safe.”

There was a part of me that knew there was more to it than what he was saying. Like he was choosing his words carefully because there was still something he was holding back. Another part of me recognized that today had also brought down some of the barriers he’d been holding up.

And I could live with that. 

“Me too,” I said. 

I rested my head on Graham’s shoulder and gazed at the fire. Exhaustion was finally catching up with me, each blink coming slower than the last until my eyes fell shut completely.

Chapter Eight →