M+A Chapter 15

Rain pattered against the glass windows of the solarium, its steady rhythm a soothing backdrop to the quiet I had been craving all morning.

I had tucked myself into one of the cushioned window seats, an unopened book resting in my lap. My fingers traced idly over the lettering on its cover as I gazed out at the rain.

I drew in a deep breath and then peeled back the book’s cover, ready to lose myself in the story unfolding inside its pages.

My fingers had just brushed the edge of the first page when I heard the quiet swish of the solarium door opening.

I looked up, already knowing who it was by the familiar cadence of his footsteps.

“Good morning, Sir Aiden,” I said.

“Your Highness,” Aiden replied, inclining his head.

My brows drew together faintly at the formality.

I was beginning to despise that title.

Aiden’s expression tightened for the briefest moment before he gestured to the book in my lap. “What are you reading today?”

“Something you’d find dreadfully boring, most likely,” I said lightly, a smile tugging at my lips.

I turned the book toward him, revealing the cover.

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.” The corner of his mouth lifted slightly, before he seemed to remember himself, and it faded entirely.

I studied him a moment longer. The tension in him was unmistakable—shoulders too tight, spine too straight, jaw set too hard. He looked almost statuesque. More like carved stone than the man I knew.

I sat a little straighter.

“Aiden,” I said quietly. “What is it?”

His chin lifted as he clasped his hands behind his back.

“The Prince has requested our presence.”

“Our?” Dread coiled tight in my stomach. “May I ask why?”

“I do not know. The Prince has not shared his reasons with me.”

My throat tightened as I swallowed. “Alright, then.”

I set my book aside without another thought and rose to my feet.

We walked side by side through the silent corridors. We did not spare each other a glance. We did not speak. The only sound was the rain lashing the castle walls, muted by the thick stone, and the hollow resonance of our footsteps.

A heaviness hung in the air, thick as the rain clouds outside.

And none but Aiden and I would know it.

My posture mirrored his—the image of perfect discipline. Our steps were precise, controlled. Our expressions neutral, unremarkable. The distance between us was painfully appropriate. We were everything a princess and a knight should be.

And yet the act, once second nature, felt profoundly wrong—like wearing a skin that no longer belonged to me.

The air turned colder. The corridors narrowed, dimmed. More Bedford guards stood along the way. Though we were only in a different part of the castle, there was nothing warm or familiar about it.

And when the tall, dark wood doors to Alexander’s study came into view, I felt the full weight of how easily everything could unravel.

Lightning struck, illuminating the stone walls for an instant.

Aiden reached for the latch.

 I could no longer bear it.

So quietly I wasn’t even sure I had spoken at all, I said, “Wait.”

His hand froze, suspended an inch above the brass latch. With the subtlest turn of his head, his gaze shifted down the corridor behind us, then back to me. For just a blink, his mask cracked.

“We must,” he said.

And then he opened the door.

The scent of parchment and leather, struck me immediately, followed by old ink and something faintly metallic beneath it.

Alexander was seated at his desk, quill in hand, scrawling something across a document.

“Sir Aiden. Princess Monroe,” he said without looking up

He completed the line he was writing as though unwilling to leave a thought unfinished, then set the quill aside and lifted his gaze.

“Thank you both for coming. I won’t take up much of your time.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Aiden said, bowing.

“Please,” Alexander said, gesturing to the two chairs positioned before his desk.

I smiled politely and nodded, moving to the chair closest to him.

Aiden remained where he stood.

Alexander’s gaze flicked briefly to Aiden, then back to me.

“How are you settling into Bedford, Princess?”

“Well, Your Majesty.”

“The transition has been… smooth for you, I hope.” His gaze lingered. “You appear more comfortable lately.”

“Though it has taken some time,” I said carefully, “I am beginning to understand Bedford’s rhythms.”

“That’s wonderful,” he said. “It matters to me that Bedford feels like home to you, especially as you step fully into your role.”

He leaned back slightly in his chair, fingers steepled. “You and I will soon be shaping this kingdom together, Princess Monroe.”

He paused then, his gaze holding mine—steady, assessing.

“It is important that you are prepared for what that asks of you in the coming weeks.”

Another beat of silence.

“Your presence. Your attention. Your focus.”

The knot in my stomach tightened.

“Of course, Your Majesty. I understand what is expected of me.”

“Good.” Alexander smiled, though it did not quite reach his eyes.

“In light of the upcoming engagement celebration,” he continued, “certain adjustments must be made.”

“Adjustments, Your Majesty?”

“Yes. Which is why I’ve asked you both here. With your position soon changing, Princess, and with the increased visibility that comes with it, your safety is of the utmost importance.”

Alexander turned to Aiden.

“Sir Aiden,” he said. “You will be relieved from your escort duties effective immediately.”

Blood rushed to my ears, the rest of Alexander’s words coming through muffled as though I were hearing him from underwater.

 “Your skill set will be of greater use at my side. Sir William will assume your post henceforth.”

Every instinct in me urged me to look toward Aiden, to see if he felt the blow of Alexander’s decision as sharply as I did.

I did not. Could not.

Alexander’s gaze lingered on me, his eyes watching. Assessing.

Training took over. I forced my fingers to uncurl from my skirts and folded my hands neatly in my lap.

Aiden inclined his head. “Of course, Your Majesty. Sir William is a wise choice. He will serve you and Her Highness well.”

My chest cracked open, his acceptance striking harder than Alexander’s decree.

My mind screamed at him. Refuse him. Fight this. Fight for me.

Yet I knew he could not.

For the same reasons I sat silent and obedient.

Duty. Honor. Loyalty.

They demanded these thoughts be silenced.

Just then, a knock sounded on the door.

“Ah. That will be Sir William now,” Alexander said. “Enter.”

The door opened and Sir William stepped inside.

It felt as though I was watching everything unfold in slow motion.

Aiden nodded once to Sir William, then stepped aside and moved to Alexander’s side, his hands clasped behind his back.

He did not spare me a glance. His gaze remained fixed somewhere beyond me.

“The next matter,” Alexander said, reaching for a stack of documents on his desk, “is the matter of our engagement preparations.”

He laid the papers before me. Among them were invitations, seating charts, and schedules.

I smiled, and despite the tightening of my throat, kept my voice even. “Of course. I’m happy to go over anything you like.”

Alexander slid a piece of parchment toward me—the schedule for the coming days, already outlined precisely. “I’d like us to be seen together more often,” he said, “especially now that we’re so close to the day. It’s important that people see we are aligned.”

My eyes skimmed the paper, noting how full it was. Public appearances, luncheons, dinners, outings. It left little room to breathe.

“Everything looks satisfactory,” I said.

“I’m glad you think so.”

Alexander continued speaking, reviewing seating arrangements and plans, offering details I should have been absorbing, but his words dulled, blending into a low, indistinct murmur.

I followed along as though my world hadn’t just tilted, even as my mind fled the room.

I barely remembered Alexander concluding the meeting. Barely remembered Sir William leading me from the study.

All I could focus on were the stark gray walls of the corridor.  

Behind me, footsteps followed—heavier, their rhythm out of step with mine. They were… wrong.

I do not remember the walk back to my chambers. Only that somehow I arrived and found myself standing in the center of the room, unsure what to do with myself.

I was empty in a way I had never felt before.

Hollow.

Chapter Sixteen

M+A Chapter 14

After the noise and spectacle of the tournament, the quiet here was a reprieve. 

My chest tightened as my gaze dropped to the nameplate beneath the portrait.

Alexander’s late mother.

Aiden’s voice carried softly through the gallery behind me. 

I felt him draw closer, the warmth of his presence settling close at my back. 

“I did,” he replied. “She was kind. Gentle. Strong. Resilient.”

Tears burned behind my eyes. “She looks… lonely.”

Quietly, he said, “Power often is.”

My heart ached for her.

For myself. 

It became harder to focus on the artwork around me.

My gaze landed on a landscape unlike the others. It wasn’t grandeur or craftsmanship that caught me, but the simplicity of it. Rolling hills beneath a summer sky, wildflowers bending in the wind, a small stone cottage nestled at the edge of a distant tree line. 

It was the kind of life I would never have. A life untouched by titles and expectations.

“Monroe?” Aiden murmured. 

I turned to him, something in my chest fracturing at the sound of my name on his lips.

My breath stuttered, but it was the hitch in Aiden’s that made me open my eyes. 

Close. Too close. 

Aidens hand fell away from my cheek and dropped to his side. His expression shuttered in the span of a single breath and the disciplined knight returned like armor snapping into place. 

I turned.

Prince Alexander stood in the open doorway

His gaze moved slowly between us, a flicker of caution crossing his face.

Aiden inclined his head in a crisp bow. “Of course not, Your Majesty.”

He stepped closer, his gaze settling on the painting behind us. His eyes traced the quiet landscape before turning to me. “You seem taken with this one.”

“I am,” I replied. “There is something… comforting about it’s simplicity. It’s peaceful.”

Alexander considered the cottage a moment longer. 

“Peaceful, perhaps,” he said thoughtfully. “But also rather lonely.”

I remained where I was. 

The realization settled deeply over me.

Where I saw peace in its solitude, a freedom from expectation, Alexander saw only loneliness. 

Chapter Fifteen

M+A Chapter 13

The following afternoon, Alice stood behind me at the vanity, pulling my waves into a neat braided crown atop my head. 

I studied my reflection in the mirror. On the surface, I appeared calm and composed–ready for an afternoon of tea with the ladies. Beneath the surface, my nerves were anything but.

My chest tightened at the sound of his name.

I gave myself one last glance in the mirror before rising and moving into the adjoining sitting room.

The knock at the door came then, and heat rushed to my cheeks before I could stop it. 

Each of Aiden’s footsteps matched the drumming of my heartbeat, and when he stopped before me, the rhythm stuttered.

“Your Highness,” he said, inclining his head in a careful bow.

“Sir Aiden.”

I curtsied, but when I looked up, Aiden was already moving toward the door. 

My mouth opened, then closed. My brows creased faintly.

“I am,” I finally managed. 

As I moved past him, he did not meet my eyes. 

“Thank you for escorting me,” I said, glancing at him, waiting for something.

The silence stretched between us. 

His jaw tightened before he finally said, “As is my duty, Your Highness.”

Your Highness?

“Aiden.” 

He did not stop. He continued walking ahead, his hand resting atop the round pommel of his sword, his fingers tightening around it.

I quickened my pace, just slightly. “Sir Aiden,” I tried again. 

“Your High—”

“Stop that,” I said. “Since when have you begun addressing me so formally?”

He straightened, his posture tightening. 

“I…” his voice was strained. 

His shoulders loosened just slightly, something in him giving way.

“Princess, I—”

Laughter filled the corridor.

His shoulders snapped back, his posture going rigid once more.

“Come, Your Highness,” he said. “The ladies are expecting you.” 

I stared at his back a moment too long before my feet finally moved. 

Aiden stopped just outside the parlor and opened the door for me. 

I cast him one last glance before stepping inside, but he did not meet my gaze.

Something in my chest tightened painfully. 

I tried to give the ladies before me my full attention, but despite my best efforts, my focus kept slipping to Aiden standing guard just inside the doors.

My responses came a beat too late. I had to work too hard to say the right thing, to smile and laugh at the right moments. 

If any of the ladies noticed, they did not remark on it. 

When the tea concluded, I was the last to leave. 

The walk back to the sitting room was painfully long. Quiet.

With every step, my nerves grated. 

When we neared the door, I stopped abruptly in front of Aiden, lifting my chin up to meet his eyes. 

“Aiden.”

His gaze slid to mine. “Your Highness.” 

“What is this?” 

He held my gaze, but neither his eyes nor his expression offered me anything. 

I curled my fingers into my palms, my nails leaving half-moons in my skin.

“Good day, Sir Aiden.” 

The next few days were the same. 

Titles. Formalities. 

Distance.

By the day of the jousting tournament, I had come to expect it. So when the knock came at my door, I braced myself for more of the same. 

But when I opened the door and found Sir William in Aiden’s place, something in me faltered.

It took me a moment too long to find my tongue. 

“Sir William.” I curtsied before stepping into the corridor. “Where is Sir Aiden?”

My chest tightened. 

“I see.” I turned forward. “Very well.”

Alexander helped me up and then settled across from me.

After a few polite exchanges, silence fell over the carriage. Yet it felt nothing like the silence that had stretched between Aiden and me. 

Alexander’s gaze moved over me, slow and deliberate. “You seem distracted.”

“Merely thoughtful, Your Majesty,” I said.

“Mm.” He turned to the window. 

By the time we arrived, the grounds were already alive. The hum of the crowd was thick with anticipation. The scent of roasted meats and fresh ale wafted from the stalls. Music drifted through the air. 

Alexander stepped from the carriage and offered me his hand. I took it, and he guided me down. 

We were escorted through the gathering crowd and into the raised stands. Our seats were positioned high above the arena, providing a commanding view of the field below. 

Shortly after we settled, a herald stepped forward to address the crowd, his voice carrying across the arena as he spoke of honor, sportsmanship, and chivalry. 

“I wasn’t aware Bedford had entered a knight,” I said, my attention sharpening.

“We enter one each year,” Alexander answered proudly. “Bedford has long held a distinguished reputation in the tournaments.”

The knight raised his visor. 

Vivid green eyes met mine. 

My breath caught. 

“Aiden.”

 “He is difficult to miss.” 

The words came too easily. I smoothed my expression, willing my composure back into place before turning to him. 

Alexander studied me for a moment. “Indeed,” was all he said before he returned his attention to the field below. 

As the herald announced their names, they rode to opposite ends of the field, turning their horses neatly into position. 

The crowd swelled with cheers. 

My gaze remained on Aiden.

A marshal stepped into the center of the field and raised his trumpet. The call rang out and both knights spurred their horses into a full gallop toward one another. 

My pulse quickened as Aiden made his first pass. 

Both lances missed their mark.

Down the field, his opponent’s hand tightened around the reins. Through the narrow slits of his visor, his gaze fixed on Aiden—sharp, intent, and edged with something less controlled. 

I held my breath, my eyes fixed on the opponent’s coronel—the metal five-point crown at the tip of the lance.

Metal screeched against steel.

I sucked in a sharp breath, my hand finding Alexander’s wrist and tightening. 

A lance struck the ground, its coronel mangled—Aiden’s opponent’s. 

I dragged in a breath.

I withdrew my hand, clearing my throat. “I did not attend many jousts in Celermare. I am not used to this level of… intensity.” 

I resettled in my seat, fixing my attention below, where Aiden and his opponent prepared for the final pass.

Aiden remained composed atop his horse, his grip firm on the lance. A faint score marked his armor where he’d taken the blow, the metal there slightly bent. 

Once more, the marshal stepped into the center of the field. 

The trumpet had barely finished sounding when his opponent dug his heels into his horse and surged forward. 

“He can’t—” The words died in my throat. 

Aiden charged forward.

Steel rang. Wood splintered.

A helmet tore free.

I was on my feet before I had realized I moved. 

A body hit the ground.

The world went quiet. For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.

A knight lay motionless on the ground, his head turned away.

Please… it can’t be.

My eyes lifted to the knight still astride his horse. 

He lifted his visor.

Aiden’s eyes locked on mine.

Air rushed back into my lungs.

His eyes softened, just for a moment, before he dropped his visor and steered his horse off the field.

His hand was a firm weight at my back, and I straightened, smoothing my skirts.

“No,” he said after a moment. “I imagine not.”

“Of course,” I replied lightly, keeping my gaze trained on the next competitors entering the field.

“Sir Aiden,” Alexander said, rising. 

“Your Majesty.” Aiden bowed.

“That was a decisive pass. You’ve done Bedford proud.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” 

I looked up.

His dark hair was slick with sweat, his armor dusted with dirt—the mark from the earlier hit standing stark against the metal. He cradled his helmet in one arm.

“Your Highness,” Aiden said.

“Sir Aiden,” I said, inclining my head. 

“Have a seat, Sir Aiden,” Alexander said, gesturing to the chair behind me. “The matches have been… eventful.”

My fingers tensed against the arm of the chair.

For a fraction of a second, Aiden’s gaze held mine. Then he looked away. 

“Your Majesty,” he said, inclining his head before taking the seat.

I kept my attention anchored on the field below, though I scarcely registered the movement of horses or the ring of steel. 

I was acutely aware of Aiden behind me—of his nearness, of the faint shift of steel as he moved, of the quiet, steady sound of his breath. 

Beside me, Alexander’s presence pressed just as close, the air around me tightening and leaving little room to breathe. Every subtle movement he made felt rather than seen.

The world below blurred, but I missed nothing of them

Midway through the next round, I felt Alexander’s gaze on me.

I straightened, forcing myself to follow the next pass—the charge, the strike, the outcome—and adjusted my reactions. As I should have from the beginning.

Every breath I drew was controlled, every movement deliberate. I folded my hands in my lap, more mindful of the movement than ever before. 

I could not afford another misstep. 

Relief was not a strong enough word to describe what I felt when the final match was called and the crowd began to thin.

The carriage ride back to Bedford had passed in relative quiet, the sound of hooves and the grind of gravel beneath the wheels forming a steady, grounding rhythm. 

I was grateful Aiden had not ridden with us, yet his absence did little to ease the tension that coiled tight in my chest. 

Riding alone with Alexander felt… worse.   

Every breath, every glance, every word felt measured in a way it had never been before. 

It had never been this difficult to keep myself in check, and by the time the palace gates came into view, a bone-deep exhaustion had settled into me. 

Chapter Fourteen